In a heartfelt call to action, Bryan Scott McMillan, a veteran of the medical device industry with over three decades of leadership experience, is urging communities in Long Beach and beyond to show up for grieving families in meaningful, sustained ways. Drawing from his personal journey after the loss of his wife to cancer, McMillan founded Families with Holes, an organization dedicated to connecting grieving families with practical support and counseling resources. He also volunteers with The WARM Place and Camp Sanguinity, organizations that provide grief support for children and families.
McMillan's message is simple: people do not need to have perfect words or be grief experts to make a difference. What matters most is consistent presence. "People think they need the perfect words," said McMillan. "The families I have met rarely remember exactly what someone said. They remember who kept calling three months later. They remember who brought dinner on an ordinary Tuesday. They remember who stayed."
The need for such support is widespread. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 3 million people die each year in the United States, leaving millions of spouses, children, parents, friends, and coworkers to cope with loss. Additionally, research estimates that approximately one in twelve children will experience the death of a parent or sibling before reaching adulthood, highlighting the critical need for grief support in our communities.
Despite these numbers, many grieving families report feeling isolated after the initial weeks following a loss. "We rush toward people immediately after a funeral," McMillan said. "Then life speeds back up. Grief doesn't. The hardest conversations often happen months later, after everyone else has gone back to normal."
McMillan draws parallels between effective leadership in business and supporting grieving families. "In business, we solved problems by paying attention and following through," he said. "Helping grieving families works much the same way. Listen first. Keep your promises. Stay consistent."
The importance of consistency is backed by research. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has identified social isolation and loneliness as significant public health concerns linked to higher risks of depression, heart disease, dementia, and other serious health conditions. Supportive relationships can improve emotional well-being and help people recover more effectively after major life events.
McMillan encourages individuals to take simple actions that require no special training, such as calling someone who has lost a loved one, marking important anniversaries and birthdays on calendars to remember to check in, offering specific help rather than a generic "let me know if you need anything," bringing a meal or helping with errands weeks after the funeral, inviting grieving friends for a walk or coffee without expecting them to talk, listening without trying to solve every problem, supporting local grief centers and community organizations, encouraging children to express grief in their own way, continuing to reach out long after others have stopped, and sharing what they have learned about meaningful support.
"My hope isn't that everyone becomes a counselor," McMillan said. "My hope is that more people become the kind of friend who keeps showing up. That's how stronger families and stronger communities are built." He believes that leadership extends beyond the workplace, and the same qualities that make a good leader—consistency, compassion, humility, and willingness to act—apply to supporting a grieving neighbor.
"At the end of the day," he said, "people rarely remember your title. They remember how you treated them when life became difficult." By showing up, staying connected, and offering steady support long after the initial wave of sympathy has passed, every individual has the ability to make a meaningful difference in the lives of grieving families.
